Honey Peach
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1  |  Define 'Game'
JAnderson , 1/19/2005 3:38:50 AM

Before I go into the actual review, or even the musings as to the machinations of Sachen, I have to wonder what the mentality was behind the string of "adult" NES games. Hacker International/Panesian inarguably started the market (well, okay, Taboo: The Sixth Sense had nudity, but really wasn't adult as in "sexual") for the NES unlicensed community. Sure, such games had been made previously, on the Atari 2600. What a stupid idea that was... but the NES offered at least something the Atari didn't- detail. Sure, 8-bit NES isn't much, but it's a far step up from the Atari 2600.

Honey PeachI suspect the conversation behind such games went like this-

Worker: Yo, boss! This game.... well, it really sucks. No one's going to pay $50 for this.
Boss: Dammit! Wait- I have it. We sucker them into buying the game!
Worker: How, exactly do you plan to do that?
Boss: Screw the game itself. Tell them nothing about it! No... we add nudity. That should sell these games!

That HAS to be it... it had to be a a single marketing decision to push knowingly mediocre titles. At best, any of these adult tiles would have to go through a lot of extra work to become a mass-market appeal title (see Mermaids of Atlantis) , and adult titles were generally the worst of the worst when it came to any kind of effort for a good game.

So in steps Taiwan-based Sachen/Joy Van/whatever they call themselves. These guys are pumping out games like babies at a rabbit farm. Color Dreams, AVE, and HES are licensing their games for US distribution and Sachen seems to do okay in the Asian market, releasing both 60-pin Famicom carts and 72-pin NES carts (whether or not any of their own carts hit the US is hard to say... possible, but perhaps remained limited to the Asian/Australian market, or wherever they could ship them). Pumping out mediocre games is this company's standard, though most of their games had a certain bit of charm. However, their adult tiles lack said charm. I suspect their conversation went about the same.

Honey Peach is a rock/paper/scissors game. Or stone/cloth/scissors, as they call it. The idea is simple- playing against the computer, press up to stop your fist at scissors, B for rock, A for paper. Beating your opponent is random luck. There seems to be zero strategy. Watching the hands is pointless, and the difficulty adjusts itself almost every turn. Sometimes, you can win several rounds in a row, other times, lose several in a row. The computer seems to cheat but not always. Ties happen, but rarely.

And... well, that's it. Almost. You see, winning two hands in a row causes your opponent, the female of the round, to remove clothing. First round gets them to their underwear, second round is topless, third round is complete nudity. However, following the NES adult game trend, nothing below the waist is ever shown. Which basically makes the third win pointless. And the girls range from okay to decent, nothing really special (while a decided step up from the Panesian girls, the girls are still just okay to look at. None of them are ugly but the artwork leaves room for improvement). The game runs six rounds, with password access for each round. You get your password when you win the previous round (preceded by a picture of your character, fully dressed. The odd "Y" on his shirt looks like part of the New York Mets logo). Unfortunately, for whatever reason, the password is on screen for about ONE SECOND, So either hope you have decent skills to win all six rounds in a row, or have a decent enough memory to remember the code long enough to write it down (though I've taken the liberty and submitted all five passwords).

Losing two rounds simply sets your cursor down one notch. The male character representing the player isn't seen nude unless you lose all 6 rounds in a row, at which point you get to see the "hero", as it were, covering himself with a look of shock and embarrassment on his face. Though while each round is set to six losses, ties do not count. The heart that sets by each player's face starts at red, then turns blue at the first loss. A second loss moves the clothing notch down, a win while the heart is blue bumps you back up to red. However, the heart can turn red but the notch can not move back up.

The game last six rounds. After round six... the game resets. And if that weren't bad enough, when you do finally win round five, you get absolute garbage, as the picture of the girl is a garbled mess of random tiles. Not as if you'd get to see anything new anyway...

The game is a collector's item at best. There's no reason to play. You can see girls through many other sources. You can play rock/paper/scissors with a live person (though a girl willing to take her clothes off if she loses may be a BIT of a stretch, I'd say...). The game is far too short, and far too easy to lose when the difficulty randomly sets itself too high. The game will last five minutes before you either win round six or get sick of it. At best, this is a mini-game you stick in another game. Stripping the nudity out, there's no way any company would have released this on its own. Even the early NES days of Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, and Clu Clu Land had more advanced games. This game cart literally scrapes the bottom of the barrel for game play. It has a deserved place in an NES collector's domain, but nothing more.

Sachen will forever be the most unusual of the unlicensed game companies. They were releasing games at least as early as 2000, producing fresh copies of their NES carts. Their newer boxes had a website URL - www.sachen.com.tw - which appears to be down, or at least inaccessible.

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